Lives Collide
by savetoniqht
Summary: She had worked so hard for so long to bury the secrets of her past. With one case everything is revealed, and she has to deal with the truth being out. Criminal Minds/Higher Ground Crossover. you don't need to know Higher Ground to understand it
1. Chapter One

Sooo this is my first Criminal Minds fanfic… yay? :)

Tons of credit to all of the authors of Criminal Minds/Higher Ground fics, because clearly I didn't think of that idea on my own. Obviously my storyline is different than others, but the whole JJ = Shelby idea isn't anything new. I am making a very conscious effort to specifically not use anything in my story that someone else has used. That is the last thing I want to do.

Special credit to lrigD, author of one of my favorite fics ever, _Touch_, who got me hooked on this idea in the first place! (go read it)

Disclaimer: Not mine.

By the way, as much as I would LOVE to write a JJ/Morgan fic, this is not one of them. I'm using Morgan as the confidante in this story, because they're cute even if they're not a couple. There's no pairing in this.

WARNING: okay, so this isn't _that_ kind of warning… Basically, the beginning is going to suck. It won't be even half decent until the drama starts, so if you read it and hate it, give it a chance once it picks up?

Ps: I write really long author's notes. :p

* * *

The tray loaded with seven steaming cups of coffee nearly slipped from her grip as she juggled the tray and her case files, trying to reach the elevator button with no success.

"Woah, Jayje," a voice from behind her startled her, and she nearly lost her grip on everything once again. She spun around to see Emily walking towards her, who reached forward and pressed the button herself.

Emily smirked as she wordlessly took the case files from JJ's arms. "What'd you do, rob the file room?"

JJ smiled but offered no response as the elevator dinged, signaling that they had reached their floor. Within seconds of stepping off the elevator, she was nearly ambushed by her team members and there were only three coffees left on the tray—hers, Morgan's, and Penelope's. She smiled and greeted everyone as usual before escaping to where she knew she would find both Morgan and Penelope.

"I love you," Penelope exclaimed the second JJ appeared in the doorway, shooting out of her seat to claim the coffee that JJ was holding out to her. She greedily took a sip of the steaming liquid, barely reacting to the temperature. "You just made me one very happy tech goddess."

"Glad to be of service," JJ responded as she slipped past Garcia in order to hand Morgan his cup. He shot her his usual million-dollar smile, making her melt as usual. She and Garcia had long ago determined that anyone who wasn't floored by his smile was made of stone.

"What would we do without you, JJ?" he asked, casually resting his hand on the small of her back.

"Hold your own press conferences?" JJ offered, smirking at the thought of her teammates—namely Reid—holding a press conference. Morgan shuddered at the thought.

"Yeah, that would go really well."

JJ smiled briefly until she saw Aaron Hotchner stick his head in the doorway; she knew what he wanted.

"You got a case for us yet?" he asked her, obviously hinting that she get to work.

"That's exactly what I was just about to do." JJ waved at Morgan and Garcia, rolling her eyes as she following Hotch out of the room.

* * *

Of the four case files she had flipped through, nothing made one stand out as a higher priority than any of the others. What she hated the most was when there was no obvious answer as to which case they picked, making it nearly impossible to choose. She never understood how she could possibly choose one of the cases to be of higher priority than the others when they were all so similar.

As JJ opened the fifth case file, she quickly scanned the information, classifying it as the same importance as the other four cases. She was about to add it to the same pile as the other four until one of the victim's names caught her eye, making her heart skip a beat—Elaine Barringer.

She knew which case they were taking. It was definitely risky, but she owed it to him.

With shaking hands she closed the file, and, without so much as glancing at the other three files awaiting her attention, she made her way to the briefing room before she could change her mind.

She took a deep breath, doing her best to calm her nerves before stepping into the room, where she knew her entire team was waiting. She couldn't even remember the last time she had been nervous to brief them.

Finally she mustered up enough courage to walk in and explain the case, making a conscious effort to stay as neutral and normal as possible.

"Six women, all brunettes, brown eyes, in the forty to fifty age range. All were raped and then strangled in a small town in Florida. They have no leads and they're desperate." JJ knew her voice was shaking, especially after she read of Elaine's name, but she tried to keep it as even as possible. Obviously, working with a group of profilers, she knew that she couldn't get much past them, but she had been able to keep her secret thus far.

"And they're sure these are connected?" Morgan asked, innocently but suspiciously, interrupting JJ's thoughts.

"Yes, they're positive," JJ assured him, almost too defensively. "It's a tiny town, and the case was the same with all the victims. The MOs are the same; it's definitely a serial."

"All right, we'll take it," Hotch interrupted, squalling any further suspicion or opposition. "Wheels up in an hour."

* * *

JJ sighed and squeezed her eyes shut tighter, curling into a tighter ball in her seat as she tried to erase the images from her mind. Things were going well in her life—better than she could have ever hoped—but the images would never leave. She was scarred by them, by her past, and she knew that no amount of pretending to be someone else would ever make them disappear. Usually they haunted her primarily at night, when she didn't have to be on her game at any given second, but they were always there. And now, with the case that she was, quite stupidly she realized, getting into, they were more persistent than usual. Deep down she knew that things would most likely be revealed during this case, but she could only pray that they weren't. She was internally chastising herself for the choice that she had made, but what was done was done.

"I know you're not asleep."

JJ jumped as Morgan whispered in her ear, and she gently reached out and slapped his chest.

"You scared me," she scolded, turning around to face him. "What's up?"

"That's what I came over here to ask you."

JJ shrugged and tightened the blanket she was using around herself. "Nothing's up, I'm sleeping."

"Actually, you're not sleeping. You're talking to me."

"Shut up. I'm _trying_ to sleep. Or I was before I was interrupted."

"You're playing with your hair," Morgan noted softly.

"I'm sorry?"

"You do that when you're nervous. You know… you play with your hair."

JJ immediately withdrew her hand from her hair; even she hadn't noticed that she was doing it. Then again, she wasn't the profiler.

Morgan rested his hand on top of the one that JJ had hastily withdrawn from her hair and placed on her knee. "You know you can talk to us, right? You can talk to me."

JJ smiled sincerely as she brought her other hand so that it was resting on top of Morgan's. "I'm cold."

Morgan laughed, but shot her another concerned look at the same time. "That's not what I meant."

She just shrugged and looked down at their hands. Morgan was like the brother that she had never had but had always wanted. Growing up, she dreamed of having an older brother—someone who would be there to protect her from her monster, someone who would be there to stop him from coming into her room at night, every night. There never was anyone; no one stopped him. Not some imaginary brother, not her mom…

"JJ!" Morgan laid his hand on her shoulder and squeezed it slightly, bringing her back, once again, from her thoughts. "What's up? You're spacing out."

"What? I'm just tired, Derek." She shrugged away from him and he took the hint, taking his hand off of her shoulder and giving her space.

"All right, but Jayje, we're all here for you. Always."

JJ smiled gratefully as she watched Morgan return to his seat, then she turned over and closed her eyes once again, the images returning as usual.

* * *

Please review! :) Constructive criticism welcome. I won't get offended.


	2. Chapter Two

"_Wake up, kitten." Shelby's eyes slowly fluttered open as she felt the mattress sag next to her and cool hands stroking her hair back. She started to roll onto her side to avoid the icy hands, but when she felt them hold her in place her eyes shot open._

"_No… stop, please stop," Shelby begged as she tried to pull away from his intruding hands, only to realize that she was being held in place and trying to move away was futile. "Walt…"_

JJ flinched and was startled awake when she felt someone tightly grab her shoulders. Her eyes flew open and she shrugged away from the hands.

"JJ? What's up?" JJ rubbed her eyes and blinked a couple of times, finally looking up and facing Emily, who was kneeling on the floor in front of JJ's seat.

"What?" JJ asked, still slightly groggy.

"Are you okay? I said we landed."

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine. I'm just… tired. I wasn't talking in my sleep or anything embarrassing like that, was I?" JJ laughed nervously, rubbing her hands self-consciously up and down her arms.

"No, you were just mumbling a little bit, nothing too embarrassing," Emily assured her with a grin. "Come on, let's go." She smiled and patted JJ's knee as she stood up, disappearing to gather her stuff. JJ rubbed her eyes again and shakily stood up. She felt unsteady on her feet as she stumbled to the plane door.

"You alright there, JJ?" Reid asked with obvious concern in his voice when she practically tripped over her own feet.

"I'm fine," JJ snapped. She was so incredibly sick of everyone asking her that. She loved her job, but working with profilers sometimes made her life hell. She was constantly afraid that if she weren't on top of her game at any second that they would figure something out. Reid seemed slightly shocked by her tone, but nodded as he stopped to let her pass.

JJ took a deep breath of fresh air as she stepped off of the plane, enjoying the Florida sun beating down on her for a minute. Mere seconds later she opened her eyes, watching the rest of the team file off the plane before turning her attention to the man walking toward her.

"Detective Andrew Bryant?" JJ asked the man as he approached. He nodded in response.

"Jennifer Jareau, we spoke on the phone. This is the team, agents Hotchner, Morgan, Prentiss, Reid and Rossi." JJ gestured to each of the team members before stepping back to let Hotch handle logistics.

As she looked around, she couldn't help but to think back to Scott once again. The last she had heard from him… well, the last she had heard from him had been the last day she had been at Horizon. It had been the last day that she had been Shelby Merrick, and the last day she had been damaged goods. Now she was Jennifer Jareau, supervisory special agent and media liaison for the BAU. She was innocent, happy.

JJ had not heard a word about Scott, or in all honesty any of the other Cliffhangers, since the day she became Jennifer Jareau. She didn't know if Scott was even alive, let alone where he lived, but she could only hope that he would stay uninvolved with the case. The funeral had already passed, and JJ couldn't help but wonder if Scott had gone. Under no circumstances would she attend Walt's funeral, but Scott was different. Scott was strong. Scott was…

"Agent Jareau!" David Rossi was standing in front of her now, hands planted firmly on her shoulders. JJ shook her head, trying to clear it, and looked up to see that not only was Rossi staring at her, but the rest of the team and the detective were staring as well.

"Oh! I'm so sorry. I haven't been feeling one-hundred percent lately. What were you saying?" She tried to force a smile, but she knew it didn't nearly reach her eyes.

"It's okay, JJ," Hotch assured her. "Detective Bryant is going to give you a lift back to the precinct so that you can get started. We're going to have to construct a profile before we can determine whether or not we're going to need a press conference, but be prepared in case."

JJ nodded and forced another smile before following Detective Bryant to the car.

* * *

JJ stood up to try and neaten up some of the clutter she had made in the few hours that she had been working once the rest of the team filed in.

"How did it go?" JJ asked as cheerfully as she could. She got a response of collective groans but no real answers as all of the team members took a seat.

"Okay," Hotch began, hanging up the pictures of the victims. He stepped back and examined the board in silence for a minute and then turned toward his team. "Look at the picture of the first victim, Elaine Ballinger, compared to the rest of the victims."

Reid spoke up first, standing up and walking around the table to examine the pictures and details of the crime scenes. "The vengeance in Elaine's murder seems much more severe. Rather than escalating with time and more victims, the unsub's first murder was the most malicious. It seems as though Mrs. Barringer was the main target, and the other killings were essentially killings out of spite for the first victim."

"This is definitely personal," Emily agreed, "and definitely about Elaine. Along with being strangled like the other victims, she was stabbed as well. Most importantly, she was beaten severely post-mortem. There's no reason to beat someone who's already dead unless it's out of spite."

"So basically we're looking for someone who has a vendetta against Elaine, and once we find that person we'll have our killer," Morgan added.

Hotch nodded. "Right. So the question is, who has enough hatred for this woman to not only kill her, but to beat her post-mortem and then continue the killings with other victims of similar appearance?"

"Hotch," Emily interjected. "We did talk to one person who mentioned that Elaine had definite marital problems, so her husband is a definite suspect, but we were told that more than anything Elaine and her stepson had their fair share of issues."

JJ felt as if her heart stopped, and she was literally surprised that she didn't pass out on the spot. True, Scott probably dreamed constantly of killing Elaine, just like she did of killing Walt, but she knew that he would never do it. It had been years since she had seen Scott, but there was simply no way he could have done this.

"Good," Hotch responded. "Someone call Scott Barringer and bring him in."

* * *

I'm sorry about the suckiness of the first two chapters. I have a million ideas about what's going to happen officially starting in the next chapter. I can't _promise_ exactly, but I can almost guarantee that the story will get much better in the next chapter. Please stick with me until then!


	3. Chapter Three

Thank you **SO** much to those of you who reviewed! I really appreciate it… you're awesome. :)

By the way, the beginning of this chapter isn't good, but I needed some transition. Honestly you can read past it and just read the conversation between JJ/Shelby and Scott… which I'm relatively pleased with… and that's saying something for me to say that about my own writing. :p

* * *

JJ jumped as she heard footsteps coming down the hall. She was waiting to talk to Hotch, and she looked up just in time to see Aaron Hotchner blaze by her on his way to the interrogation room.

"Sir!" JJ shouted, racing to follow him as he made his way to the room."

"Yes?" he responded, slowing down his pace so that she could walk with him without practically having to run to keep up with his strides.

"Um, so about Scott… I didn't mention something kind of important… I know him."

Hotch stopped suddenly and turned to look at her, his face a mask to his thoughts. "How do you know him?"

"I mean it's been a _long_ time, like over ten years… but I know Scott is not our Unsub."

"JJ, right now he's our best bet. You may have known him once, but that doesn't ensure that he's not the ubsub that we're looking for."

"I know it," JJ responded adamantly. Hotch nodded slowly, but he was obviously unconvinced. He was about to begin walking again before JJ spoke again.

"Um, also… may I talk to him?" She asked timidly, fidgeting and keeping her gaze down.

"I don't see why not," he responded, shrugging.

"May I talk to him alone though?"

"You can talk to him alone in interrogation, but you know one of us will be watching through the two-way."

"Please, Hotch," JJ practically begged.

"JJ, you're out of your mind if you think I'm leaving you completely alone with our number one suspect in six murders. You can go in there and talk with him, but someone will be watching."

With that he walked away, leaving her standing there. She mentally debated whether or not to risk exposure and gong in there to talking to him, or staying as far away from him as possible and hoping he didn't see her. Even if he didn't see her, though, she couldn't go through her life knowing that he was right there and she didn't even talk to him. It was worth the exposure… she had to see him.

* * *

"Shelby?" Scott stared at the blonde as she entered in disbelief, gazing into her eyes as if trying to determine whether it was really her or just a trick of light.

JJ nodded slowly, almost hesitantly. She was trying not to think of whomever may be watching through the window, but she couldn't help but cringe as she imagined their reactions to hearing her respond to a different name.

"How… what… I don't even know what to say," Scott stuttered. He carefully stood up from his seat, taking a few steps around the table before she reached him and he pulled her into his arms. JJ felt tears welling up in her eyes just from feeling his arms safely around her

"I don't know whether to kiss you or slap you," Scott said, loud enough so that she could hear, but more into her hair than to her.

"Well," JJ responded quietly. "Right now you're a suspect in a murder investigation… times six… so I think slapping me wouldn't exactly be the best idea."

Scott shook his head, a small smile gracing his lips as he took a step back and grabbed her hands, holding them in his. "Still the same old Shelby."

"Well… no, not exactly. I'm not… I'm not really, um…" JJ stuttered as Scott stared at her expectantly. She fidgeted nervously, unsure how to approach the situation. "I'm not Shelby anymore."

"What?"

"Well… I'm an FBI Agent. Jennifer Jareau…"

"What are you saying, Shelb?"

"That's it. I'm not Shelby. I'm JJ."

JJ could see the emotions conflictingly play out on Scott's face. Anger, pain and confusion all danced on his features as he dropped her hands, took a step back and stared at her.

"What, you change your name and all of a sudden you think you're this whole new person?" Scott said icily. "Well I've got news for you, _Shelby Merrick_, you're still just as much Shelby as you ever were. Running away from your problems… it doesn't matter if you've got a different name now, that's all you'll ever do. You _are_ still the same Shelby."

"You don't know the half of it, how dare you judge me."

"Oh really, Shelb? I know you better than anyone else does and you know it. I _know_ you. I know everything about you. Making a new future for yourself doesn't erase the past. You can't just hide from it… that doesn't make it go away."

"Yes I can, and I have," JJ insisted. "Well, at least I could until _you_ killed your stepmother and pulled it all up again."

Scott looked horrified, and JJ literally thought he was going to slap her for a minute. "You _know_ I didn't kill her. You _know_ it. I know you better than anyone else does, and you know me better than anyone else. You know that I'd never hurt her. Yeah, I wanted her dead, but I didn't kill her. And no, I'm not upset that she is dead and I'm not going to act like I'm upset, but you look me in the eye and tell me you'd be even the slightest bit shaken if Walt died. You try and tell me that_ you'd_ be mourning if you received news of his death."

JJ shuddered instinctively; that was the first time she had heard _his_ name out loud since she became Jennifer Jareau—since the day she left Horizon.

He was right, though. She knew he didn't kill Elaine, just as she had already told Hotch. Hotch hadn't been too convinced, but she knew Scott would never do it.

"No one had any idea what happened to you, Shelby," Scott began suddenly, his voice low and wavering slightly. "Do you know what that did to us? You just left, just _disappeared_ after graduation. If you were going to go change your entire identity you could have _told_ us! I haven't been able to date anyone since you. I've tried, but I can't, because I always see you. You have no idea what you did to us.

Jess was devastated. She understands why you left her all those times before—you had to, for you—but you had no reason to leave her this time, Shelby. Your leaving destroyed her.

After you left I used to hear from Daisy _every_ single day. She'd call and pretend to check up on me, but she'd always be calling to ask if I'd heard from you. _Every day._ Eventually she started calling about once a week, and then every couple of weeks. I still hear from her at least once every month or two. She hasn't forgotten you, Shelby. Not me, not Jess, not Daisy… none of us have been able to. How could you do this to us!?"

"I just needed to get away, Scott! I just needed to—"

"That's all you ever did, Shelby! All you ever did was run away, but this time you ran away from your family! From your _real_ family—from us. You left us all alone, wondering every day if you were still alive, if you were, god forbid, back out there on the streets. You don't understand what you did, Shelb. Every time I saw someone who looked remotely like you, my heart would start pounding, thinking I finally found you, and it was never you. I could only picture the worst things, and here you are Ms. Well-off FBI agent, happy as can be! For all we knew you could have been _dead!_"

"You don't know the first thing about me!" JJ practically screamed, beginning to hastily pace back and forth, wildly gesturing with her hands to make her point. "You say you know me, but you don't _understand_ me. Shelby was damaged, and dirty, and just screwed up! I was sick of being that! I'm sorry, so sorry, that I never called, but I _am_ happy now! Don't you get it? I _never_ would have been happy if I were still Shelby. If I hadn't become JJ I probably would have killed myself anyway, Scott."

"Shelby…"

"STOP calling me Shelby! I'm not Shelby!"

"_You_ can pretend you're someone else, Shelb, but I'm not going to. You'll _always_ be Shelby, and changing your name won't change who you are. It won't change what happened to you and you know it."

"_Nothing_ happened to me, Scott! Nothing! Shelby is a different person as far as I know, and until you showed up she was long gone and I could pretend to be normal for once."

"You _are_ normal, and you _have _gone through things that you can't just ignore! You are normal, you've just hit some obstacles along the way."

"Who are you, Peter?! Don't give me that crap, Scott! I came here and I made something of myself, of my life. Why can't you just be happy for me? Why can't you just accept it?"

"You're only hurting yourself in the long run."

"Yeah, well at least I didn't go kill Walt and then everyone else who looked like him!" She shouted, spinning around to face him.

"Jesus Christ, Shelby! We've already gone over this!"

Finally, unable to hold it anymore, JJ slid down to the floor under the window, hugging her knees to herself and sobbing. She sat for a moment, not quite sure yet not quite caring what Scott was doing as she rocked back and forth. The team knew now; her secret was out, and she knew life would never be the same for her again. Sure, they didn't know the details yet, but Garcia was probably out digging up Shelby's life history now; and, even if she wasn't, they would find out eventually.

JJ flinched when she felt arms wrap around her, pulling her close to a warm body. JJ briefly looked up to see Scott's face, blurry and distorted through her tears, gazing down at her. Her first instinct was to pull away, but it had simply been too long since she had his arms wrapped around her. She leaned into his embrace and he tightened his hold on her, pulling her closer to him as he stroked her hair back and whispered a series of "it's okay" in her ear.

"I'm sorry… JJ," Scott said slowly, hesitating before her name. It was clear that he wasn't comfortable with it, but he was obviously making an effort. "I'm so sorry. I know you didn't mean to hurt anyone. You just didn't think about what it would do to us, and it _did _hurt."

Scott paused, obviously waiting for her to respond, but she just kept silent, hanging onto him for dear life. "I love you. I just love you, and I've never stopped loving you. I always said I didn't know what I would do without you in my life… ironic that you haven't been in it for the past ten years or so. It was just… a shock. It was just a shock to see you, to hear that you changed who you were… just everything."

"I know," Shelby whispered, shaking against his body. "I'm so sorry. I just wanted it all to go away; I just needed it all to end."

"I know," Scott whispered as he pulled her onto his lap and rubbed her back as he held her closer to himself. "I know."


	4. Chapter Four

Hey, sorry for not updating for a while. I'm not going to lie, I was a little discouraged by the lack of reviews, but I'm back. :) Thank you **SO** much to those of you who did review… if you write you know how much I appreciate it!

* * *

The tension in the air on the opposite side of the two-way window could easily be sliced with a knife. Aaron and Morgan stood stiffly side by side, their arms crossed tightly across their chests. Aaron fixed his gaze on the spot where JJ had been standing, unsure of what to say. To say that he was shocked would be the understatement of the century. In a few short minutes he had learned more about his agent than he had learned in all his years of working with her.

What did this say about his profiling? Him, the whole team—they were supposed to be the best profilers in the world, and not one of them had seen through JJ's façade? JJ was the innocent one on their team, one of the young ones. With her deep blue eyes and girl-next-door look, the blonde had never done anything to suggest that she had a horrific past. Hotch shuddered at the thought, imagining all the horrors that the young agent could have lived.

"Hotch…" a voice finally interrupted from beside him. "What the hell was that?"

"I don't know, Derek." Hotch just shook his head. What was there to say?

"Did you ever see this coming?" Morgan asked, turning to face him even though Hotch kept his eyes on the room in front of him.

"No, I didn't. Not at all"

"I had a feeling something was up when this case started, but I never would have guessed…"

"Let's just wait and see what she has to say."

"Hotch…" Morgan said hesitantly, uncertainty obvious in his voice. "Should we have Garcia run a search? They gave us enough to…"

"No." Hotch cut him off before he finished Morgan had even finished his though. "Absolutely not. If we ever want JJ to trust us again then she needs to be the one to tell us—and she will eventually. She's afraid that we'll reject her because of her past. She doesn't want us to treat her differently. She realizes that everything we know about her is a lie, so she won't refuse to admit it now. She most likely won't reveal everything at first, but once she begins eventually she'll need to get it all out. We just need to give her time."

Suddenly voices resumed from the other room, though JJ and Scott were still sitting on the floor and couldn't be seen from the other side.

* * *

"So what are we going to do?" Scott asked once JJ pulled back slightly. She slowly brushed the loose strands of hair from her face as she sat up straighter beside him and hugged her knees to herself.

"What do you mean?" She asked timidly.

"I mean everything. What are you going to tell your team? What are _we_ going to do?"

"I don't know, Scott. My team…" she paused, nervously glancing behind her as if she could see them. She lowered her voice a bit. "They know now—at least some stuff. And I guess… well, should I, um, should I call Jess? Would she hate me too much to hear from me?"

"Shelb… sorry, um, _JJ_," he corrected at her glare, "I think she would love to hear from you. I think she'd love to see you; she misses you. What about everyone else?"

"I don't want everyone knowing, Scott. I know that my team needs to know, but, um, I just can't…. it's, um… I don't want things to change. I'm JJ now. The past is the past. I owe it to Jess to let her know I'm alive, but things can't change. Nothing can change."

"You're going to make us keep it a secret?"

"Scott… I just can't have everyone knowing. I just can't. Maybe I could call Daisy, _maybe,_ but… Scott I just can't." JJ shuddered at the thought of everyone knowing her secret. This whole situation was bad enough; she couldn't even imagine having to confront her past.

"Okay, okay. You don't have to decide now." Scott wrapped his arm around her and pulled her closer. She leaned into his touch, savoring it once again.

"I have a favor to ask," she admitted softly.

"Anything."

"Will you stay with me when I tell my team? I need to tell them, but I don't want to tell them alone. I'm just not sure how they'll respond." She began running her hands through her hair, afraid that he'd say no.

"Of course I will. Are you going to tell them… everything?" Scott lowered his voice significantly now that he knew they were being watched.

"I guess we'll see." With one last deep breath she pushed herself up off the floor, brushed herself off and headed toward the door, turning around as she reached it.. "I'll go see how the case is going. Hopefully you'll be an innocent man soon." She smiled as genuinely as she could as she shut the door behind her.

"JJ!" JJ looked up at Prentiss as the older agent waved her over. She complied, following Emily to the desks where everyone else was waiting.

"What's up?" JJ asked nonchalantly, acting as if nothing were different.

"Unfortunately, we have a seventh victim," Prentiss began, frowning as she laid the picture out in front of the agents. The victim looked just as the other ones had. "Fortunately, though, we got something on this one. He left us a little present on this victim. The ME found semen on her leg."

JJ looked up instantly. Semen meant they had DNA… it meant they could clear Scott.

"So does it match anyone?" JJ questioned, attempting to keep the desperation out of her voice.

"Scott Barringer willingly gave up his DNA, and he is not our murderer," Emily began. JJ let out a deep breath. She knew deep down that Scott did not kill Elaine, but her opinion was not really enough to prove his innocence.

"The murder is, however, related to Scott Barringer. The DNA found in the semen and Scott's DNA are a mitochondrial match. Meaning…"

JJ cut her off before she could even continue. "It was his father."

* * *

Come on, I couldn't make Scott a murderer! :p

Next chapter she tells everyone. Please review, I appreciate them so much.

I do need help though! **Should I have JJ contact Jess and/or Daisy and/or anyone else?**

I'm kind of split there, so I really need feedback on that one. Thank you. :)


	5. Chapter Five

I am so sorry for how long it took me to update! I know I don't have the best track record with updating in general, but the past week or two has been insane! Thankfully I'm on vacation now and holidays have passed, so here is an update… finally.

Ps… do we know Scott's father's name??

Pps I'm taking some amount of creative license with Scott's situation.

I also had issues with Shelby's story. It's been a while since I've watched HG, and google has been surprisingly unhelpful with filling in the holes. I did my best, but I'm sorry if things aren't accurate.

Also the beginning kind of sucks, but I had to close the case.

* * *

Morgan glared at the man as he entered the room and casually lowered himself into the seat that the officer had pulled out for him.

"Mr. Barringer?" Hotch asked the officer, who simply nodded in affirmative before leaving the smirking man alone with the profilers.

"Just so you know," Mr. Barringer announced coolly, "I'm suing this department for police brutality."

Hotch shrugged, keeping his face emotionless… though of course this was not saying much. "If you choose to do so you can take it up with the department, however, if you choose to sue for police brutality then they will charge you with resisting arrest anyway."

Mr. Barringer rolled his eyes, but shut his mouth and dropped the subject.

"So, Mr. Barringer, Elaine was your wife, correct?" Hotch asked the suspect, though Morgan could feel the other profiler's eyes on himself. He wanted to close this case, but more than anything he just wanted to check up on JJ. Neither he nor Aaron had had a chance to speak to her alone since overhearing her conversation with Scott, and he was desperate to do so, but Hotch had insisted that they close the case first.

"She was," Mr. Barringer agreed slowly. "Until we split up."

Hotch nodded, and Morgan was grateful that he seemed to realize that he was alone in this interview.

"Why did you split up?"

"Elaine was a cheating whore," Mr. Barringer responded nonchalantly.

"She was?"

"She cheated with me on my son… my own _son_.Among others, of course."

"Well," Morgan began, becoming engaged in the conversation with this new information. "That's a good reason to hate someone."

Mr. Barringer nodded. "Damn right it is."

"I bet that pissed you off. I bet that made you want to kill her."

"Wouldn't you!?"

"It sure would. I don't think I would have been able to control my anger."

"I couldn't!" Mr. Barringer practically yelled. "She deserved it, too! She deserved what she got. So did all the rest of them. They're all the same, every one of them. They pick up other men then get back in your bed at night. Every one of those women did it. They were all like her."

"And that made you angry! You had to get rid of them! You couldn't let them continue to pull those stunts, could you?"

"I did what I had to do, and I'm not sorry. Now get me a damn lawyer."

* * *

JJ sighed as she watched Morgan and Hotch file out of the interrogation room. While Hotch's face was as void of emotion as usual, JJ could tell just by watching Morgan that the case was as good as closed.

"You know," a voice whispered in her ear, causing her to jump at the sudden intrusion of her thoughts. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised, and I guess I shouldn't care, but I am. And I do." JJ shivered as Scott pulled back, but could only nod and grab his hand in response. What could she say? I'm sorry your father is a serial killer?

"I think your friend is looking for you," Scott said, motioning to where Morgan was standing, obviously scanning the room. JJ looked up just as his eyes fell on her, and he gestured for her to come over.

JJ sighed again before forcing herself to stand up. "Well, let's get this over with."

"Look… _JJ,_" Scott began as he stood as well, obviously stressing the name as if trying it out. "I know it must be pretty scary to be faced with this after all this time…"

"No, you don't," JJ sneered, cutting him off. "You don't know. You don't get it. I am _not_ Shelby anymore. I haven't been in practically ten years. My team _only_ knows me as Jennifer Jareau, small-town girl, a perfect childhood… and now all of a sudden I'm going to spring this on them? I've spent the past yen years building this up, and now because of this one case it's all going to come crumbling down? God, I never should have taken this case!"

"You know what I think? I think you chose this case because a part of you was tired of hiding who you are. It's gotta be killing you. This is not a way to live. You're a walking textbook case of everything Peter and Sophie have ever taught you _not_ to do. Your team will still accept you. Yeah they'll be shocked, but they'll accept you. Just tell them the truth. Get it all out, get it over with."

"You think I should tell them _everything?_ Including…" JJ paused, shivering at the mere thought of the subject. "Including what I did?"

"Think of it this way, Shel…JJ." Scott paused and shook his head, as if trying to clear his memory of the former name. "Sorry, JJ. You can just get it over with, or you can keep hiding. But like anything, even that will come out eventually. You may as well get it all out."

JJ shrugged, then began walking to where Morgan was still waiting without another word.

"He basically confessed," Morgan told her once she approached him.

"That's good."

"Yeah…" he agreed. "So… do you want to talk to just Hotch and me? Just one of us? All of us? Whatever will make you most comfortable."

"Um…" JJ began, glancing back at Scott who was slowly making his way over to her and considering everything he had said. "I may as well get it over with. Just get everyone together."

"Jayje," Morgan began, gently grabbing her arm to keep her from turning away from him. "Just know that whatever this is, whatever happened… you're like my baby sister, and nothing will change that." He squeezed her shoulder and smiled, then walked away to find the rest of the team.

* * *

**(A/N: I don't remember where I said Garcia was at this point, if I even put her anywhere. For the sake of her needing to be there to hear JJ's story, we're going to go with she's been there the whole time**

**(A/N AGAIN: I also don't remember if Rossi is in this story. I don't think he was, but I guess he is now, even though he's not going to play a part in it.)**

JJ fidgeted nervously as they waited for Garcia and Emily to arrive. She could feel Hotch's, Rossi's, Reid's, Morgan's, and even Scott's eyes on her, but she kept her eyes glued to the floor.

"JJ!" Penelope exclaimed as she ran into the room, with Emily walking calmly behind her. "Kitten, what's wrong? What's going on?" JJ cringed at the name, but decided that this wasn't the time to mention it.

"Take a seat, baby girl," Morgan instructed, winking at her.

"I, um… I don't know where to start," JJ said softly once Emily and Penelope had both taken their seats. She glanced up at Scott briefly as he squeezed her hand in encouragement.

"Well why don't you start by telling us who this gorgeous boy is," Penelope answered suggestively.

JJ laughed and finally looked up at her best friend. "We'll get there."

"Just start from the beginning, Jayje. We have all the time you need," Morgan assured her.

JJ nodded and took a deep breath, frustrated that she had no idea how to phrase this. Speaking in front of people was her job, and she couldn't even talk to her team.

"Well, first of all… I wasn't, um… I wasn't born as Jennifer Jareau. I was born as Shelby Merrick." JJ glanced up for a moment to try and gage her teammates' reactions. Hotch and Morgan had already heard this, so they barely react, but Emily and Penelope both had concern written all over their faces. JJ looked back down at her lap and squeezed Scott's hand again.

"My parents got divorced when I was little, and I stayed with my mother. I didn't really know where my dad went. But um, eventually my mother, um… she got, uh, remarried. His name was Walt, and, he, uh, well he seemed okay at first." JJ shivered at the mere mention of his name, even as it was coming from her own mouth. With one glance up at the group she could tell that most of them had already figured out where this was going. Morgan was clenching his fist so hard his knuckles were turning white, and even Hotch seemed to be a little bit upset.

"Eventually, he started to… um, you know… come into my room at night… and stuff…" she finished lamely.

"I think we all understand what you mean, JJ. You don't have to go into any more detail than you want to," Hotch assured her. JJ nodded and let out a sigh of relief. This was one of the many moments she was glad she worked with profilers, although even Garcia seemed to get it, as JJ could hear her murmuring "my poor girl" under her breath.

"I ran away from home. A lot. But um, he always said that as long as I never told anyone, he wouldn't touch my little sister, Jess. And I believed him, so I didn't tell. I would just run away, but I'd, um, I'd always come back…" JJ trailed off and looked up at Scott. He reached forward and wiped a tear from her cheek before scooting closer to her and grabbing her other hand.

"You can tell them, Shel… you're strong," he whispered soothingly. She nodded and took another deep breath. She kept her eyes on him as she spoke, refusing to look at her team—she didn't even want to see their reactions.

"When I was fourteen… I just couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't tell anyone… I was stupid enough to believe he would never touch my sister if I never told, but I just couldn't take it. I wasn't strong enough. I ran away for good. I ended up on the streets for a little bit, and um… I got hooked on some stuff. I couldn't, um… I was alone… I, uh… I just couldn't go back. I couldn't face him. I met this girl named Patty, and she, um, she showed me…" JJ shuddered and pulled away from Scott. She sat back in her chair and pulled her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around herself and gluing her eyes to the floor.

"I had no other way to survive… I swear… I know it was wrong, I _know_ it was stupid… I was messed up. I was starving, and hooked on drugs, and I just… there was no other _way_. It was gross, and wrong, and I just… I…" she trailed off, burying her face in her knees. She heard a chair scrape and then felt a hand rubbing her back.

"Jayje, you did what you _had_ to do to survive. You did nothing wrong, you hear me? He made you so desperate you turned to the streets. You used what you had, because _he_ made you." JJ looked up briefly at Morgan to see that he had tears in his own eyes. She flinched away at first before leaning into him. After a moment she looked up again, finding a space on the wall in between Hotch and Reid to stare at.

"Eventually, Patty, um… well she OD'd one day. And I, um… I realized that that could have been me. I could have _died_ out there. So I, um, eventually I found my real father, and he sent me to a school called Mount Horizon, which is basically a school for fucked up kids…" she said, before turning to Scott. "No offence," she said under her breath. He smirked and patted her knee as if to say he didn't care.

"That's um, that's where I met Scott. Peter, the head of the school, basically helped me get my life back on track. Horizon was the best thing that had ever happened to me, but um… eventually my mother called… and she um… she said that Walt had had a heart attack, and he needed someone to take care of him, but she um… she had to work, and Jess had to got school… so she took me away from Horizon to take care of Walt.

I took care of him for a while, because I had to, but um… eventually…" JJ paused and pulled away from Morgan, who was still kneeling on the floor next to her chair. She hastily wiped away her tears and took a shaky breath. "He hurt Jess too. When I ran away. He ruined her all because I left."

"You had to save yourself, Jayje," Emily assured her from across the room, speaking for the first time. JJ shook her head and wrapped her arms tighter around herself, the guilt returning at full force.

"I just got so angry. I called the police… I told them everything… and my mother said _I_ was lying. She said it _never_ happened, that I made it all up. She finally admitted it and they took him away, but she never stopped hating me for it. I went back to Horizon, and Walt went to jail. And that's basically it. I graduated… I told Peter I was starting over, I told him that I was okay and not to look for me… and I left. I changed my name and started over. Shelby was just damaged… she was fucked up… and I was tired of being that. I'm so sorry I lied to you, I'm sorry about everything, I just… I just couldn't take it anymore."

JJ cringed as silence filled the room. She felt everyone's eyes on her, but nothing but silence filled the room. Suddenly, before she could hardly react, she felt herself being pulled into a hug so enormous it could only be Garcia. Her first instinct was to fight it, but after a moment she gave in and hugged her best friend back.

"Oh my baby girl," Garcia exclaimed as she squeezed her tighter. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry you grew up with the scum of the earth. But you have us now. The past is the past, Jayje, and as far as I know you _are_ SSA Jennifer Jareau… the strongest, most amazingly awesome person I know." Suddenly Garcia pulled away and wiped tears from her own face before reaching forward and wiping them from JJ's.

"You don't hate me?" JJ asked meekly, looking up at Garcia even though it was fairly obvious she was talking to everyone.

"Morgan said it, JJ," Reid piped up. "You did what you had to. No one judges you for that."

"I meant what I said, Jayje," Morgan added. "Nothing could make me think anything less of you. You know what I went through, how could you think I'd think anything less of you?"

"But you were strong," JJ argued, shaking her head. "You didn't run away and do stupid shit. You weren't weak like I was."

"JJ," Hotch said firmly, in a tone that left nothing up for debate. "I speak for all of us when I say that we don't see you as anything less than what you are. You're strong, JJ, and don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise."

"Thank you, guys, I… I don't even know what to say…"

Garcia leaned toward her and pulled her hair back to whisper in her ear. "How about telling us more about this gorgeous hunk that is oh-so non-discretely staring at you."

JJ smiled, possibly for the first time since they got this case, as she looked over at the man next to her, whom she still had to admit she loved after all those years.

* * *

Yikes. Don't know what to say. That was actually the hardest thing I've ever written in my life. How are you supposed to tell your friend's your life story like that? Jesus. Sorry.

That also took me HOURS to write and I have no energy left to proofread… I just want to post it. I'll proofread when I get around to it, sorry!

Also again, sorry for the ten million "ums" and "...s", I just kind of feel like telling that story would entail quite a few "ums" and awkward pauses.


	6. Chapter Six

Hereee you go. :] Sorry it took so long!

* * *

JJ took in a sharp breath and tried to keep herself form shaking as she heard movement coming from the bed next to her. She scrambled back until she felt her back pressed against the headboard, bringing her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around herself.

"Get away from me!" she screamed as she felt someone lay a hand on her shoulder. "Don't touch me!" she tried to scramble back further, but panicked more when she realized she was trapped with nowhere to go.

"JJ… JJ, calm down…" JJ blinked and shook her head. She knew this voice—she _trusted_ this voice.

"Scott?" she asked wearily, her voice shaking even as she tried to control it.

"Yeah, it's just me. He's not here."

JJ breathed a sigh of relief as she slowly felt her body relax and her heart stop beating furiously. "I'm so sorry," she stammered, her voice still shaking slightly. "I just… bringing it up… now that it's all…" she shook her head and ran her hands through her hair, burying her face in her knees.

"I know, this all came up quickly…" Scott leaned over and turned on the lamp beside the bed, and JJ felt even more relief wash over her just from seeing his face.

"What time is it?" she asked with a yawn. She barely remembered going to bed.

"It's about 5:00… you were exhausted. I know you told me to wake you up at 4:00, but you were dead on your feet," he replied. "Your boss said you'd leave tomorrow morning.

"Okay, she whispered, finally moving forward from her spot in the corner.

"You, um… do you…" Scott began, pausing as if he expected her to fill in the rest.

"Do I what?" she asked incredulously.

"You said that you wanted to call Jess when you woke up. Do you… do you still want to?"

JJ shuddered at the mention of her sister. Of course she thought about her little sister every day, but it had been so long since she had even heard that name spoken out loud in relation to her sister.

"I don't know… she just… will she be angry?"

"She might be," Scott replied honestly. "But wouldn't it be worth it if that meant you could have a relationship with your sister again?"

"Yes, but what if she never forgives me?"

"She will. And doesn't she at least deserve to know you're alive? She's gone over ten years without knowing where you are. Your team knows now, and from everything I've observed and everything I've learned since this whole thing started, they are the most important people to you, and they all accept what you've told them. There's no reason now why you can't reconnect with Jess. You can't run anymore, Shel."

JJ nodded, not really knowing how else to respond. He was obviously right, and she knew it. She truly did want to reconnect with her little sister, but it had been so long. JJ had worked so hard for so many years building up this façade and it was all crumbling. In just a few days everything she had worked to build had collapsed, and Shelby and JJ were slowly merging into one person—something she had worked years to prevent.

"Hi, Jess." JJ felt her heart race as she heard Scott greet her sister. She slowly looked up to meet his eyes, and he gave her a reassuring smile.

"You sitting down?" he asked into the phone, in a joking tone albeit serious. "I'm with someone right now who really wants to talk to you… and Jess? Hear her out.

Scott slowly removed the phone from his ear and handed it to JJ. Her hands were shaking so much Scott practically had to place the phone in her hand himself and wrap her shaking fingers around it. He gave her a knowing pat on the knee before, without even having to be asked, left the room to give her privacy.

* * *

Jess Merrick furrowed her brow curiously as she slowly took a seat on the couch that she had finally purchased from her neighbors who were moving after weeks of saving. She and her three-year-old daughter lived in a small apartment in Baltimore, and while they were not impoverished, they certainly did not have spare change. She sighed as she waited for whoever this mysterious person was. She racked her brain as to whom it could possibly be, but came up empty.

"H-Hello?" Jess froze as she finally heard a shaky voice. She pressed the phone closer to her hear as her body tensed at the sound.

"Hello? Who is this?" she asked back.

"Jess, it's… it's Shelby..."

Jess could have sworn she stopped breathing for a solid minute. She had waited over ten years, _ten years_, to hear those words, and now that she did she could hardly believe it was real.

"_Shelby!?"_ she cried. "Shelby Merrick!?"

"Yeah, Jess… it's me," the shaky voice responded. Jess couldn't believe it. She had only pictured the worst things, and while she didn't know the whole story, to hear that her sister was alive was enough of a relief.

"I… Shelby…" she began, then paused, frustrated with herself for not being able to form coherent sentences. "What _happened_, Shel? Where have you been!? Are you okay? Why haven't you called?"

There was a pause on the other end of the phone, followed by a deep sigh.

"Just… let me explain, okay? Just let me finish, then you can interrupt," Shelby commanded from the other side of the phone. Jess didn't say a word, urging Shelby to continue.

"When I graduated Horizon, I just… well you know how I was. Jess, I couldn't go through life like that… damaged like I was. I was dirty. I was used, I was damaged… I was disgusting. I acted like a spoiled brat, but I acted like a spoiled brat to cover up how much I hated myself, how much I didn't want others' support because I didn't think I deserved it. Shelby was one messed up kid."

Jess' attention was peaked at the last comment. She knew Shelby felt that way, and everyone knew why she pushed everyone away… but the way she referred to herself concerned Jess. _"Shelby was one messed up kid…"_ She was talking about her like another person, like someone different all together. Before she could even process these words and come up with an explanation, Shelby began speaking again.

"When I graduated Horizon, I just needed a fresh start. I needed… I needed to get away—"

"So you ran?" Jess filled in, fury building inside her. "As usual."

"Jess, _please_…" Shelby begged, her voice filled with more emotion than Jess had _ever_ heard her use. She complied, keeping silent as she let her sister continue.

"I couldn't go through life as Shelby. I couldn't _be_ Shelby. I wanted to make something of my life. I wanted to _be_ something… I wanted to be the person I _could_ have been if he hadn't ruined me…

I don't expect you to just forgive me, but… I needed to do this. For me. Everything I did before, I did for you. He said he wouldn't touch you if I didn't tell, so I didn't… he lied, but I lived with him for years because I wanted to protect you… and I would do it again. If I had to do it over, I would do it again, because you're my sister… but _this_ I needed to do for myself. I needed a fresh start. I needed a chance."

Jess took a deep breath, wiping her tears from her eyes. She knew Shelby was in pain… in a way she understood. She felt the same pain that he had inflicted on her sister, and to an even lesser extent. Shelby had lived with it for years, and she had ended up on the streets. Not that Jess didn't feel pain too, but she had to imagine it was less powerful.

"So you… what are you now?" She finally choked out. It wasn't the most eloquent response, and she was tempted to try and say one full coherent sentence, but figured that statement would suffice.

"Well…my name is Jennifer Jareau, but everyone calls me JJ, and I'm an FBI agent. I live in Virginia and I… well, Scott was involved in a case, so my secret kind of came out. And I figured, if my lives were going to collide like this, there's nothing I'd rather do than call you."

Jess sighed, struggling to come up with some response. This was too much to take in all at once… _way_ too much. After over ten years her sister reappeared… and she had no idea how to respond. She didn't know what she was.

"I… Shelby, I just don't know what to say. You just call me out of the blue after so long, how am I supposed to react? I'm so many things right now. Relieved and thrilled for you… but hurt, furious, abandoned… I was so worried something happened, and I'm happy that you're okay, but you just left! You could have gone off on that perfect little life of yours _and_ kept in touch! Or at the very least told me!"

"I know, Jess… you're right. You're so right, and if I could redo it I would have told you… I just needed a new chance. I needed this…"

"I understand," Jess insisted, cutting her off. "I _get _it, but that doesn't mean I'm not hurt. Look… you live in Virginia… I live in Baltimore. Can we meet? Please? I need to see you."

"I'm in Florida on a case tonight, but we're leaving tomorrow morning. Could we meet tomorrow? Could you get to Virginia? Or I could come to Baltimore…"

Jess sighed as she stood to look at her calendar. Fortunately her daughter was going to stay at her dad's house for a couple of days, so she was free.

"I'll meet you," she finally answered."

"Okay…" Shelby said, somewhat uncertainly. "I'll call you tomorrow and give you directions."

"All right," Jess responded. "And Shelby?"

"Yeah?"

"I missed you. I'm really glad you called."

"I missed you too, Jess. I love you."

* * *

:] sorry it gets a little confusing at the end when I start referring to her as Shelby. I figured I was doing it as a Jess perspective conversation, and Jess doesn't know her as JJ, so that would be weird. I also debated about this for like an hour... and about whose perspective to do it in, but I decided to mix it up a bit.

Also, I'm not going to criticize my writing because I do that too much, but I do need to say that I'm sorry for my ridiculous overuse of "...". I use it way too much. That needs to stop.

Suggestions, comments, hatred? Bring it on. :] And sorry again it took me so long to update!


	7. Chapter Seven

Wow, I am deeply sorry for how long this took me! I've been unbelievably busy, but I am back now! I'm not sure where this is going, I'm kind of coming up with ideas as I go. This fic will be JJ/Shelby / Scott, but that's as much as I have. Let me know if there's anything you'd like to see, any ideas or anything.

Ps… anyone know any spoilers for the finale? I don't want to give anything away to people who don't like to know stuff, but I do. I read the overview, but I'm very curious and way too impatient to wait… if anyone's been able to find anything let me know!:)

Pps… anyone watch SVU? Profiling/Quantico references in "Baggage!" They're profiling this whole episode, they should have brought in our beloved BAU!

A/N that's actually significant: I have not had the experience of a ten-year prolonged reunion, so I winged it. Who the hell knows what that would actually be like.

* * *

* * *

JJ shuddered as she once again heard the incessant ringing from the bell that announced every individual who entered the shop. She rubbed her hands against the paper cup, trying to absorb as much warmth as she could from the steaming beverage. Her nerves were getting the best of her, and JJ kept her eyes glued to the steaming cup in front of her, blocking out the other patrons.

"Shelby!?" a voice questioned softly, but with obvious excitement brewing in her tone. JJ jumped at the sudden intrusion to her idle thoughts. She flicked her gaze to the young woman who was standing in front of her. Her breath caught in her throat as she came face-to-face with an older version of her baby sister.

"Jess!" she exclaimed, attempting to keep her voice quiet, but still managing to attract curious glances from a few people at the tables near her. JJ jumped up and threw herself into her sister's waiting arms, struggling against the tears that threatened to fall.

"Oh my god, Shelby…" Jess whispered as she finally pulled away. JJ could not wipe the smile off her face as she observed her sister.

"You look so good, Jess!" JJ gushed as she returned to her seat and gestured Jess to do the same. "I wasn't sure if you drank coffee, but I got you some anyway…"

"Thank you," Jess said quickly, effectively cutting off JJ's nervous rambling. "Shel, I've been thinking... I still don't understand why you completely cut yourself off, but I understand why you did it. I just… I'm angry, but I want you to know that I understand."

"I know, Jess…. I know, I realize that now. I'm sorry, I really am. Can we… can we just start over?" JJ begged. Even though her secret was out, JJ was still determined to keep her life as normal as it had been—her life as Jennifer Jareau.

"Sure… tell me about yourself, about your life. What have you been doing?" Jess complied, humoring her obvious requests to avoid the subject of the past.

"Well," JJ began. "My name is Jennifer Jareau, but all of my friends call me JJ. I ended up at Pittsburgh and then went into the FBI Academy and now I work at the Behavioral Analysis Unit. I'm the media liaison, so I basically deal with the media and press, but I work with profilers…" JJ finally trailed off at the end, realizing that she had been rambling non-stop, without letting Jess get in a word edgewise.

"You sound really happy, I'm so glad to hear it."

"Yeah, I really am… I am happy," JJ admitted. "I never actually thought I could be… and this is why this was the best thing for me."

"Yeah, you should have let me in on this plan," Jess joked.

"How are you doing?" JJ asked, almost reluctantly. Her guilt about what happened to Jess as a result of her leaving, even after all these years, had never been assuaged. Hearing that Jess had been miserable would only add to her guilt.

"I have a four-year-old daughter," Jess began, and JJ could see her face light up at the mention of the girl. "Her name is Kristen Shelby Merrick. Her father and I are definitely not together, but he is still part of her life. She's with him right now. My life basically revolves around Kristen, but I'm the assistant manager of a little boutique in town, and we get by just fine."

"That's great, Jess… I'd love to meet her sometime. I hope… I hope we can, you know, reconnect…"

"Of course we can… but do I have to call you JJ? I just don't know if I can get used to it."

"Please, I'd prefer it… I mean…" JJ withdrew her hands from the warmth of the coffee cup and brought them to her hair and began playing with it. The tension between the two women was unbearable, and this was not how she always imagined this reunion.

"This is really awkward," Jess announced bluntly. JJ looked back at her sister with a shy smile and nodded. "Let's go shopping!" Jess exclaimed suddenly.

JJ gave her an odd look before responding. "Why shopping?"

"Because," Jess explained, a sense of obviousness in her tone, "we'll bond over shopping!"

"Okay…" JJ responded skeptically. "I just—" JJ groaned as she was interrupted by the shrill ringing of her cell phone. She scowled as she read Morgan on the caller ID, which could only mean they had a case, which he confirmed.

JJ turned to Jess apologetically. "I have to go to work, we have a case… I didn't really explain that with my work we travel around to different cities that need help, so I won't be back for a few days. But um, Scott came back with me and he's staying with me in Virginia… you guys should get together, maybe show him around while I'm gone." JJ hastily downed the remained of her coffee, gathered her purse and wrapping her coat around herself.

"It's fine…" Jess responded despondently.

"I'm sorry, hun, I'll call you later… is that okay?" JJ responded guiltily.

Jess nodded as she stood up to wrap her older sister in a hug. "It was so good to see you, Shel… I love you. I've missed you so much."

JJ smiled as she finally forced herself to pull away. "I love you too."

* * *

JJ inhaled deeply and counted to ten as she entered Quantico, the one place where she used to truly feel comfortable. Now, no matter who she was with, she felt them judging her, imagining her past, imagining how damaged she was. Regardless of ho many times her teammates assured her nothing had changed, everything had changed for her.

"Hey JJ, how are you doing?" Derek greeted her as she walked in. She winced at the patronizing tone he used—the same tone everyone seemed to be using with her lately. She chose to ignore him rather than responding, refusing to respond to his tone.

"JJ?" Morgan called again as JJ passed him, obviously expecting a reply.

"What?" JJ snapped, whipping around to face him.

"Well I was asking if you were okay, but apparently you're not…" he answered. JJ rolled her eyes, turned around and continued walking away, before she felt someone grip her arm.

"Jayje, what's going on?" Morgan demanded, pulling her back so that she was facing him again.

"Nothing is going on!" she insisted, avoiding his eyes as best as she could.

"Okay, JJ, but you know you can talk to me, right?" Morgan reminded her for what had to be the hundredth time. Ever since she had admitted her past Morgan had become more and more concerned, and correspondingly pitying her more and more.

"Derek, I really appreciate your concern, but I'm fine. Please, just leave it alone." JJ shot him one last meaningful look before pulling her arm away from him and walking in the opposite direction. She could feel Morgan's eyes burning a hole in her back, but she continued on through the bullpen until she finally made it into her office and shut her door.

* * *

I know, that was weak. The end was also useless, and an obvious filler. I'm losing my inspiration or something, I can't write now, but I owed it to everyone to get this up:)

Seriously though, ideas are necessary, because I don't know what to do otherwise. Also, I purposely left it at a case, so if anyone has any interesting ideas for a case that would work out!

Pps (sorry, I talk way too much): I wrote this at like 2AMish and did not proofread… my birthday is tomorrow (yay) so I won't have a chance to update tomorrow, and then will be taking the next days to recover :p so here you go!


	8. Chapter Eight

_Hey there :) SEVEN MONTH delay. I'm the worst ever :( Sorry about that. I was inspired to write more by Falcon-121's new story, __Secrets, which is under Criminal Minds/Higher Ground crossovers. Go read it if you like those crossovers, it's really good!_

_Also, if anyone didn't get this, this is not set at a specific time, but it is obviously pre-Will and Henry. And also obviously pre-100 because I started it foreverago._

* * *

JJ frowned as the words on the file in front of her blurred. Seven little kids, different genders, races, even ages, had been killed. They hadn't suffered, the ME assured. They were strangled quickly and efficiently, slipping from the world. No connection had been found so far, but they had Garcia digging.

Reid's voice finally pulled her out of her thoughts. "I've been thinking—"

"You're always thinking, kid," Morgan interrupted him, a smug grin on his face.

"I, well, yeah… it's actually physically impossible not to always be thinking. There are always thoughts running through your head, even in sleep. There was a study—"

"Reid," Morgan interrupted again. "Get to the point. About the case."

JJ smirked from her seat. She had been trying to avoid her team since they uncovered her past, uncomfortable with the extent they knew about her life, but the people surrounding her really had become her family.

"Jayje?" another voice pulled her from her thoughts. Emily. She blinked as she looked up at the older woman. The brunette never looked at her in a pitiful way, and JJ appreciated that. If JJ hadn't been working with the profilers so long she probably wouldn't even be attuned to notice the glint of concern between the brown orbs, and she was ever grateful for that. JJ smiled back at the profiler and nodded at Reid to continue.

"Okay, these kids… they're all random but they're all killed quickly and painlessly. He's not torturing them, he's no sadist and he's not a sociopath. Maybe he's killing them to protect them from something. Maybe he sees the world as a cruel place and is acting as some sort of angel of death, assuming that them being dead is easier than them being alive?"

JJ watched the other profilers for their reactions. She had to admit she had picked up an enormous amount just from working with her coworkers. She didn't study profiling and she didn't have a degree,* but she was often on the same page as her coworkers, though she left them to say their thoughts.

She watched each of their reactions. Hotch's face remained the same, while the other profilers faces turned to looks of consideration.

"It makes sense," Emily agreed, nodding her head slowly. "Whatever the Unsub is saving them from he probably experienced himself. In fact… it's rare, but we could be looking at a woman here too. It doesn't take a lot of strength to overpower a child, and the killing is between genders."

Morgan thoughtfully nodded along. "Yeah, we just have to figure out what the unsub is protecting the kids from. Could be pretty much anything. He, or she, could just think the world is an evil place. None of the kids lived in poverty so it's not that, but it could be any type of abuse. Physical, emotional…" he paused, throwing a look at JJ that did not go unnoticed, "sexual abuse."

JJ fought herself not to snap at Derek as he resumed the patronizing tone as he looked at her. She wanted to scream. She wasn't broken. No, she hadn't let him do that to her even when she was Shelby. The sympathetic glances and pitiful tones were the exact reason she had become JJ in the first place.

"Well, I don't know about you guys, but I'm beat. I'm going to catch some sleep," she announced shortly before turning around to face the window and curling up on the seat, slipping on a pair of headphones.

* * *

Derek sighed as he watched the tiny blonde woman curled up in a ball, seemingly sleeping contently. He could tell by her breathing, however, that she was wide-awake, and that her brain was moving at miles a minute.

He loved JJ—she was one of his best friends and he had always considered her to be like a little sister—but he was never one hundred percent convinced by her façade. She seemed too perfect, too happy sometimes. She never talked about her past, about her childhood, yet she conveyed that it was happy, that she had been happy.

It wasn't that he didn't trust her; no, he trusted her with his life, both as an agent and as a friend. Regardless, he knew there was something deeper. He hadn't known what, but he knew there was something, something big, behind the deep, shining blue eyes and million dollar smile.

The fact that JJ had gone through what she had gone through made his blood boil, made him want to punch something, someone—he had only ever wanted to murder someone so strongly before, and that was the man that caused him pain.

To think of JJ as a child—alone, scared, unable to trust anyone, made his heart break. He wished he had been there. When that creep, that bastard, came into her room, broke her over and over… he couldn't even think of the pain. He understood it too well. It was something no one should have to go through, especially someone as loving and incredible as the little blonde.

The thought of a teenage JJ, tiny, lost, alone in the world, hurt more to think about than anything else. The fact that her creep of a stepfather pushed her that far, so far that she would prefer to sell herself for money than live with him—there were no words to describe how much pain he felt for her. How much he wished he could go back in time and stop that man's actions.

He sighed again as he watched her. That woman had been through hell, but she was the definition of a fighter.

* * *

_* I don't know if you get a degree for profiling. Go with it._

_I don't know where the second part came from. I just kind of wanted an outsider's view and Morgan seemed like a good candidate for obvious reasons._

_So there you go. Please review honestly! :)_

_ps. Dannielle. Whereeee are you. :(_


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